Boots & Curls
Welcome to the debauchery & potential optimism…walk with me or jump
about
Category: Uncategorized
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The quiet hits first.Always. That breathless, hold the keys to keep the noise minimal quiet that meets me at the door every day…wraps around my ankles like a fog, asking, “Are you sure you want to come back in tonight?” But still…I fumble and quickly press the key and turn. Silent. Quick. Like a thief…
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I keep thinking about all the things I’ve done for you, all the things I’ve swallowed down without thanks or acknowledgment, and I can’t figure out why the hell I’m still fighting for someone who’s kept me tucked away in shadows and pockets for so long. When Hemi died…your dog…I listened to you scream and…
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I asked him one last time. Not to fight. Not to trap him. Not to win. Just to feel safe. Because I’d done something stupid. Reached out to one of his exes. I expected coldness. Maybe some passive-aggressive silence. Instead, she gave me kindness. And truth. And the second you hear truth from someone who…
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I don’t think I feel truly chosen. And I hate admitting that. Because it’s not some huge blowout or betrayal this time. It’s the little things. Quiet comments. Subtle shifts. Things I might’ve brushed off a few months ago, but now… they echo. We were talking about my new apartment…the one I just got approved…
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It hit me this morning…the email I’ve been waiting on, praying for. The one that said I got approved. The one that should’ve made me jump up, scream, throw a fist in the air, call everyone I love and say, “I did it. I have a place. My place.” But I didn’t. I just stood…
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I should’ve never bought it. That cheap little GPS tracker. I sat in OUR bed, laying till I hear him snore…fucking debating it. My heart pounding like I was about to rob a damn place. I told myself I wasn’t crazy, I was just tired. Tired of the lies, the disappearing acts, the “drop-offs” and…
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I haven’t been honest. Not with myself. Not with the people who love me. And certainly not with the version of me that still believes everything is going to be okay. Because right now? It’s not. I am struggling. I am drowning in bills, in emotions, in shame I can’t even fully name. I’ve had…
Boots & Curls 